Other people do it, I mean look at that! Patrick pops] Patrick: I love you. SpongeBob: What kind of things? Gary: [with a pickle on his face; imitiating Squidward's voice] Meow. Con man: I... don't recall. Oh, who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant? Commander in chief impeached, y’all get out let’s bring Cardi B. Cardi, can you please show these people what to do? Next Patrick: Isn't it beautiful? [SpongeBob makes another grunting noise, he trips up on a rock and falls, cut to SpongeBob with a box flat on his face.] Karen: I am a computer. (refers to her file) Tore your face right off! A magazine! Patty: Who's that?! [Cut to the two] i feel like i cant breath. I mean, goodbye, Squidward! For context, SpongeBob had been around for five years when this movie came out. (Cold opening. Would you like to buy some chocolate? Not on a big stage or anything, just a backyard show, or at the Rec Center or something. Patrick: It'll keep your face from getting any uglier. It's great that we helped that guy out, but there's no one left in town to sell chocolate bars to. You guys wanna be good salesmen, right? SpongeBob: [doorbell rings] Company! Normally I'm stuffy, boring, but today I'm silly and spontaneous! [showing the Realtor lady as Patty Rechid from Bikini Realty on phone] I can sell your home in a heartbeat. Patrick: We'll take twenty! [SpongeBob runs up and knocks on the door, Tom the fish opens the door] You're my worst enemy! Mr. Krabs: Well, I … SpongeBob: Remember, Patrick, focus. The one-hundred-eighty-second season of SpongeBob Fanon premiered on May 6, 2242, and ended on July 7, 2243. Mary's Mother: Chocolate? Just A Simple Sponge from The SpongeBob Musical crazy fun performance! I try not to use words like that in my house and there goes SpongeBob teaching them. :D SpongeBob: Okay, the first guy didn't count. [laughs] SpongeBob: Remember, Patrick, flatter the customer. [Cut to the customer] SpongeBob: [grunting] Don't get me wrong, Patrick. My gallery. Forty-two. Did you say, Chocolate?! If you don’t see one you like, keep checking back! Customer: [About to fall] Oh, no... SpongeBob: [opens door] That's right! SpongeBob: They'll make you sound smart. He has went into hiding at some place far away from here, but we don't know where. Boy, have you been missing out! No! Okay but this is actually VERY rapid bus service, get it together SpongeBob. SpongeBob: Yeah, this guy will feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate! [Squidward stops playing] Squidward: Oh, I get it. I'm Squidward! [normal voice again] Now you try. Squidward: Oh sure! Try to memorize it if you can, and put LOTS of expression into it. [Cut to Patrick] Squidward: Give me that! I don’t want to ‘get over’ my father’s death It has taken me five years to realise the gap left by my father’s death will never be filled. [A glass breaking sound is heard while the customer grunts while hitting the steps] SpongeBob doesn’t deserve a bus. (Spongebob is shown downstairs sitting at a stationary desk.) There must be something. SpongeBob: Wanna buy some chocolate? Patty's face slowly turns annoyed] Mary: They're selling chocolate. [Cut to Mary] SpongeBob opens it] Hello, Mr... [looks down] Uh... Mr. Tentacles? Are you saying I'm not good enough for your stupid show? Patty: Now if you want the sale to go through, you've got to tell me all the positive things about your house. When you’re trapped here, you get used to it. Please spare me! This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Opposite Day" from Season 1, which aired on September 11, 1999. Verified Purchase. What did you get? We don't currently have any monologues from SpongeBob SquarePants.However, we have dozens of other monologues that you can read. We're under a lot of pressure, you know, and you put us there. Cut to the outside, Mary pays SpongeBob a dollar] Next Credits [Cut to Mary and her mom] [packing his belongings into boxes] I'm almost sorry I'm leaving! [A con man opens the door] Good morning, sir! "Party Pooper Pants" SpongeBob: Squidward! 31. Please, I don’t want that to go away. At least SpongeBob has been quiet. SpongeBob: That's funny, I don't remember subscribing to Fancy Living Digest. [Bubbles come up and cut to the next scene, Patrick is pushing a wheelbarrow] SpongeBob: We haven't sold one chocolate bar. Ha ha ha! Here’s a look at some real rib-ticklers. I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward. Airdate: [shuts door and takes off party hat] That's it! ALADDIN MONOLOGUES Please choose ONE of the following monologues to use for your audition. U.S. viewers (millions): [walks in and shuts the door] Plankton: Aren't for everyone? I'm just gonna crawl into bed and do nothing all day. This is important to me that we talk about this stuff in advance. (Patrick puts his box on top of SpongeBob's then sits on it) Let's get naked! SpongeBob: Look at all these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living! (Cut to Candace looking through the window) Candace: Okay, it's still here. Let me try. [SpongeBob and Patrick look at the destroyed pineapple] And if you're headed to a coffee shop to pick up your caffeinated beverage, you don't want to sleep on the best coffee drinks in America. One chocolate bar for the nice— [sees something off camera; it is revealed to be Tom, still screaming] Encyclopedia SpongeBobia is a FANDOM TV Community. The Spongebob Musical is, without a doubt, the best thing to come out of the franchise since the early days. Squidward: It's not my birthday! [Bubbles come up and cut to the next scene. A clam crows like a rooster, causing everyone to wake up. But what makes this short monologue a classic animated speech is very simple: the circle of life. SpongeBob: [puts on his hat] Well, time to punch that clock. Voila! SpongeBob: [running to Gary] Gary! [SpongeBob walks up and rings the doorbell with his foot, the same con man comes out] It centers around the dawning of the titular infection, and the characters' struggles to survive as the mass hysteria and disease spreads. [slams the door. SpongeBob: Let's admit it, Patrick. Patrick: No! [SpongeBob thinks, then snaps his fingers. Mary's Mother: You just can't wait for me to die, can you? Patrick: [removes pictures from his face] Huh? Patty: It's funny, I pictured you being much taller. Season №: SpongeBob: They'll make you fly! SpongeBob: [holds out his hand] Let's shake on it. I wasn't a huge fan of the Squidward's "don't be a jerk" song in this. [Cut to a door, SpongeBob and Patrick are wrapped in casts. I'm Squidward. SpongeBob: Yet they sell millions of bags a day! “Don’t you DARE take the name of Texas in vain.” – Sandy. Sorry! Patrick: Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell as many. I got it! [SpongeBob and Patrick dance across the screen as SpongeBob is pink and Patrick is yellow. I'm moving out of this neighborhood! Squidward: [angry, still chasing them] Happy Opposite Day! He was a legend. SpongeBob: Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating. What is it you need? [screaming] Chocolate?! The joke was said during Mulaney's opening monologue during the "Saturday Night Live" broadcast on Feb. 29, 2020. Read more. Episode №: [SpongeBob and Patrick slowly back away, and then run off. [Cut to SpongeBob thinking. Encyclopedia SpongeBobia is a FANDOM TV Community. But SpongeBob’s broken-record beat “I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready!”—in his Krusty Krab hat on the way to pull up at work—resonated with me when I was younger. We're really coming down to the wire on this one. [Pause] What is it? [places the box on SpongeBob's box and sits on it, making a small squeaking sound] Sweet, sweet chocolate. [Cuts to Tom laughing manically] [giggles, but Patrick cries] Next time, it's going to be "Go Jump Off A Cliff Day!" The house is even more beautiful in person! So when I finish work, the first thing I'll do, and especially when I'm in New York, I'll go for a run. Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2014. report. Retrieved from "https://spongebob.fandom.com/wiki/Opposite_Day/transcript?oldid=3436618". It obviously doesn't do any … Make him feel good. I got a feeling that we're too easily distracted. SpongeBob: Hello, Squidward! Patrick: It's Patrick! It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things, and now it's like, I don't believe in anything that relates to love. Chocolate! The scene cuts to SpongeBob ringing the doorbell of another house] Patrick, breathe! Patrick: [moves his eyes around] Nice place you got in here. This is Mufasa’s speech: The joke was said during the comedian's opening monologue during the “Saturday Night Live” broadcast on Feb. 29, 2020. Patrick: [sobbing] SpongeBob doesn't like me anymore! Customer: [southern accent] I'll take twenty! It consists of 62 episodes (124 segments). Mufasa, with James Earl Jones providing the voice, teaches Simba that, while the lion eat the antelope, the antelope are in a way fed by the lion. Karen: (rolls into the room) He's on vacation. SpongeBob: You see w-u-t is just more fun to read, and write. SpongeBob and Patrick enter from the left] [SpongeBob attempts to pull out a chocolate bar, but keeps pulling more bags, while Patrick is zipping and unzipping his pants] [surrounded by presents] Happy happy birthday! Quick Monologue Tips: Find a monologue that fits you and your experiences. SpongeBob: Let's try next door! 'The Late Show' host Stephen Colbert delivered a powerful monologue after Donald Trump's White House briefing room remarks amid the 2020 election. RELATED: 10 Most Controversial Oscar Speeches Of All Time 21. Patty: Stop! Con man: No, no no no, wrong. [Cut to a close-up of Mary's mother smiling] It's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort! Patrick: This'll be the best lie yet! Patrick: [simultaneously with SpongeBob] No! Season №: [The customer slams the door on Patrick's eyes; Patrick is heard saying "Oof!" Chocolate! [SpongeBob has wrapped his arms around himself] A-ha! Sounding like a lost ASMR, SpongeBob receives feedback on how customers can’t get enough of his service. I must be the opposite of SpongeBob! Patrick: [looks at SpongeBob confused] Did you say something? Yaaaaaay! Many brave knights had attempted to free her from the dreadful prison, but none prevailed. Spongebob and Patrick's deaths in the Shell City Giftshop. (Spongebob is shown downstairs sitting at a stationary desk.) Cut to the inside of the boat] G-Go away! The dialogue, delivery, camera shot, and attention to detail must be spot on for one of these movie monologues to work. [screams and knocks SpongeBob, Patrick and the boxes over. No one will ever buy my house with him living next door! [SpongeBob and Patrick pop up in the background. Mary's Mother: [enters from the right side of the house] What, what, what's all the yelling? SpongeBob: [puts on his hat] Well, time to punch that clock. [Mr. Krabs puts a Krusty Krab crew hat on SpongeBob's head. Patrick: Another year older. [walks inside] You don't need these bags. Phineas: Hey, Ferb. i want to cr. [Patrick runs to the door] SpongeBob and Patrick babble] SpongeBob: I... got it! I won't take no for an answer. Squidward: How should I know? [Patrick comes from the top left] SpongeBob: It's fine, you don't have to. SpongeBob: That's it, Patrick! [standing in front of a picture of a seahorse and Squidward has the tail] Happy happy birthday! The show, characters, and other SpongeBob stuff. Patrick: I'll take ten! Patrick: [smiling] Not the way I use them! SpongeBob: [reads the newspaper while sipping a drink] Ah, I don't know how you do it, Gare Bear, but that's the best cup of French toast I've ever had. So neither of us is surprised." Patrick: Oh! SpongeBob: One chocolate bar, coming up! Squidward: [screams, runs out, and holds onto her leg pulling the edge of her skirt, dragging him, as she is leaving] No! SpongeBob: Quick, Patrick, without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be? Oops. How a classic Spongebob monologue broke TikTok—and became a breakout meme 'Gary, you are gonna finish your dessert, and you are gonna like it.' SpongeBob: Yeah! Cut to the customer looking out his window as SpongeBob and Patrick walk by] [Patrick walks up] Are there any other Squidwards I should know about?! If you’ve been to a play, drama, or watched a comedy film, you are bound to remember some lines from it that still get you into splits. (And astoundingly relevant to this year.) My mom said that when we moved I would love my new school. SpongeBob: Careful, put him down gently. Patty: No problem! Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick. The dialogue, delivery, camera shot, and attention to detail must be spot on for one of these movie monologues to work. Squidward: Why, it's Opposite Day! Tom: Chocolate! [walks out of the house] SpongeBob: Okay, [gets out of the mailbox] see you tomorrow! Mary: Yeah! I wasn't a huge fan of the Squidward's "don't be a jerk" song in this. Patrick: [pops up behind him] A chocolate bar? The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015) - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. Gary: Meow. Sep 29, 2020, 7:37 am* When I look at you, I can feel it. SpongeBob: Hi, mailman! [A violin begins] SpongeBob: Yes, sir, we are chocolate bar salesmen! save. I mean, I hate Opposite Day. But, somehow, Spongebob remains on the air over 19 years after its 1999 debut and, even more impressive, it is still one of the most popular shows on Nickelodeon as it heads into the second half of its eleventh season. ALADDIN MONOLOGUES Please choose ONE of the following monologues to use for your audition. I don't feel things for people anymore. [SpongeBob makes another grunting noise, he trips up on a rock and falls, cut to SpongeBob with a box flat on his face] Happy birthday, Squidward! [both hang up] Sadie: That sounds heavenly! [SpongeBob looks at the magazine] SpongeBob: [nervously] Um, we've got some head trauma and internal bleeding. And I'll run 10 or 15k on my - and I run to gain my appetite. I never want to see you again! Cut to the street] SpongeBob: That's it! Please don’t go away, please. Tom: Chocolate! Boy, oh boy, do I like playing the clarinet. Squidward: Yeah! Patrick: ...Go! Don't hurt us. Gary: [barks like a dog] [Cut to Squidward shocked] [Cut to the inside of the house. Con man: [pulls bag away] But, I'm wasting my time. We need an operation. It's great that we helped that guy out, but there's no one left in town to sell chocolate bars to. because now he would offer someone a ride and say he's a cab so that they would get in the car and he could eat them. (falls backward and the box he was carrying falls on his face) Let's face it Patrick, we're failures. [Cut to SpongeBob] You need bed rest! This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Spongebob Squarepants Movie. [Cut to SpongeBob] This is our real first step! 25. Tom: Chocolate? Chronology Patty: I really don't want to hear more, thank you. Mary: Yeah! 11 comments. [Patrick holds his breath and turns purple] Opposite Day is the one day of the year when you get to act different! Nothing's riding on this except the, uh, First Amendment to the Constitution, freedom of the press, and maybe the future of the country. I hate company. The floor creaks, the roof leaks, there's a terrible draft. Episode №: [SpongeBob dances along with Patrick] [more scribbling] And don't come back till you get one! Bubbles come up and cut to the next scene, a boat in a bottle with "Fancy!" [gets in her boat] (Scene pans out to reveal they're on a very tall tower tinkering with Linda's car) Phineas: Have you seen bolt #473? [Customer opens door] In this comedy monologue, she talks to one of her good friends about the annoying men she randomly tolerates. [Patrick is shown holding many chocolate bars in his pants] SpongeBob: We're selling chocolate bars. She said it had great education and good teachers but, I don’t think she has ever … 33. Happy birthday, Squidward! If there's anything, anything we can do to help you? SpongeBob: Hello, young lady. Patrick: The kill! SpongeBob: [simultaneously with Patrick] No! From magazine issue: 15 August 2009. SpongeBob: Yeah, everyone says that. [all three standing in front of a cake] Happy happy birthday! Blue Fish with purple stripes: How am I doing? Bad news. Con man: Chocolate bars, eh? Try to memorize it if you can, ... angry. I'm going back to buy more bags! my sister always asks, are you ok, i always say I'm FINE. Opposite... opposite... [night turns to day then rooster crows everyone up. Go on home, get a nice hot bath, rest up 15 minutes, then get your asses back in gear. Blue Fish with purple stripes: Hello? We gotta become entrepreneurs! Patty: Oh my! [Patty looks at him, shocked] Now, would you care to see the rest of my home? (lifts bag over his head) For the Krusty Krab! [Cut to the customer] SpongeBob: I hear you loud and clear. Customer: [in pain] Ow...! Throughout the series, each episode is introduced by an ambiguously foreign-sounding narrator who invites us to remember that this is just a silly story and not to be taken seriously. SpongeBob: Say, want to help me do some work around the house, worst enemy? As SpongeBob was flipping through channels, he comes across a sea anemone dancing to provocative sounding music. [Patrick knocks on the door, a customer opens the door] We're going to have to figure out his location if we want to recover the formula. 121k. “SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish… [shouting] for 12 hours!” – Squidward. Chronology This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Chocolate with Nuts" from Season 3, which aired on June 1, 2002. SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, how do the people in that magazine get all that money? Sadie: [Sadie looks at her watch] I don't have time for this. [Cut to SpongeBob, Patrick, Mary, and Mary's mother; Mary is seen holding a glass] [SpongeBob uses the doorbell, Mary answers] SpongeBob: [talking like Squidward] Yes, please come in. What did he say? As long as it's not infested with nematodes, or surrounded by troublesome neighbors or something like that. Patrick: [sitting on newspapers] Meow. SpongeBob: [reads the newspaper while sipping a drink] Ah, I don't know how you do it, Gare Bear, but that's the best cup of French toast I've ever had. The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015) - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. Server: Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs [leans over to Squidward] and their dates. [holds up a bright-orange bag] Mary's Mother: They're selling chocolate? trish. SpongeBob: There's something to this selling game that were just not getting. He made us feel special! A couple of mediocre salesmen if you ask me. SpongeBob: [happily] That's it, Patrick! Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick] [Patrick falls to the ground, bawling] Patrick, you're not really not my friend. List of episode transcripts U.S. viewers (millions): Con man: Ha! What drum? Things people wanna buy. Airdate: They don't actually sit down and eat before you cook. Hey, I've heard of that! Credits SpongeBob: [echoing] You'll rule the world! SpongeBob: Let's see... [looks through the mail] Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, hey! 52a Customer: Well, there is one thing... as you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high, but luckily, I am able to keep myself alive by selling... chocolate bars. [dances] I'm Squidward, I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward. Tom: Chocolate?! [Cut to Patrick staring at the pictures] SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! And I get you don't like it, how the stubble chaffes, and that's why I'm shaving every hour practically, for you. [He takes a deep breath in and pants] Not that opposite. No no. Directed by Tim Hill. I bought this so long ago and never took … Cut close to Patrick] [SpongeBob and Patrick both blow a bubble, but they blow themselves into bubbles, instead. Pin the tail on the seahorse! Finally, the Spongebob Squarepants Movie script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Spongebob Squarepants Movie. Patty: Well, umm, I'm not sure if I'm interested... it's not a very good joke. Squidward: Oh, that's great news, because I want to move as soon as possible. Patrick: Opposite Day? SpongeBob: You're right! share. [Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick] SpongeBob: Quiet and out of the way! Con man: Yes? Patrick: [walks in from the left] I can live with that. (Scene opens with Phineas digging in a toolbox.) [SpongeBob makes another grunting noise, he trips up on a rock and falls, cut to SpongeBob with a box flat on his face] SpongeBob: Let's admit it, Patrick. [The mailman drops his mail, screams in terror and runs away] Fred: Great! Squidward: So long, chum. [Tom appears behind the box] Con man: Well, [chuckles] no self respecting candy bar salesman would be caught dead without one of these! Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. [forwards: Hey Patrick.] [Cut back to view Mary and her mom] Patty: You're both Squidward? La la la la, la! 30. [Cut to SpongeBob] Blue Fish with purple stripes: Please. SpongeBob: Patrick... go away! when guys come up to me, with their cheesy lines, (imitating guy) “Hey, you Give it your best! [chases them down the street and laughs evilly] Patrick: You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever. Join. y, but i want to seem strong. Squidward: [bursts in] Stop! [Holds up a large amount of cash. "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V" SpongeBob and Patrick are walking away with armfuls of bags] SpongeBob: [grunting] Don't get me wrong, Patrick. hi , I'm trying doing my best to write a monologue but I don't know how because I never write monologue in my life Wolf478 on May 29, 2018: I'm also writing a monologue for a class, and I will be presenting it. I look at you and I … I’m home. Patty: [looks at painting of Squidward] Oh my, this painting is very nice. [Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick who have stunned looks on their faces. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games. SpongeBob: Hello, sir. [Sadie goes back inside, and then SpongeBob pulls out a chocolate bar] SpongeBob: Good afternoon, sir, could we interest you in some [holds up chocolate bar] chocolate? SpongeBob: I just wanted to know if you saw who robbed the Krusty Krab. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. Patrick: Why, thank you, Mr. Squidward.